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ALL ABOUT TOWN
By
OLIVER UNDERWOOD
[The Welland Tribune and Telegraph, 16 March 1922]
We hate like sin to tell it, brothers and sisters, and no disloyalty should impute to us for the telling. It is printed here to forestall the possibility of its first getting to that Ananias Sapphira Munchaussen who writes for this paper out there, for it may be imagined how the tale would then be magnified and distorted.
A resident of this neck of the wood who is in California for the winter, writes that one day near the Southern Pacific station in San Francisco he was asked for a direction by a passing stranger, who it developed in the course of the conversation, was from Montreal.
Our friend of course gladly announced that he was from Canada, too, and named Welland as his abiding place. The other Canadian looked rather nonplussed for a moment, following which the light of recognition crossed his features and he delivered this astounding response: “Welland, Welland? Yes, I have heard of it. Let me see, Isn’t it somewhere near Fonthill?”!!!!
Boy, page the Industrial Commissioner!
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The only redeeming feature about the above is that the Montrealer did not link us up with Dunnville. But then he likely never heard of that place at all, for Montreal is outside of Reneu’s jurisdiction.
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The magistrate at St. Catharines is assessing Sunday drunks $15, while the fine for this offense on week days is a ten-spot.
This doesn’t seem exactly fair. Were you ever in St. Kitts on a Sunday? What else is there to do?
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They have landed another industry at Bridgeburg, the Fedders Mfg. Co.
No, they do not make stuffing for pillow ticks; their product belies the name, for they manufacture radiators.
Straws usually show which way the wind blows, but in the case of the industrial breeze at Bridgeburg, it seems to be Fedders.
Congratulations to the border burg. And it will mean more people to come to Welland when they want to get a really safe distance away from the U.S.A.
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