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LIGHTS AND SHADES OF WELLAND’S LIFE
[Welland Tribune, 24 January 1908]
Just as the Christmas spirit was in the air, a well-known town official met a man who takes orders for enlarged pictures. The traveler’s name was Shibley, and he represented a Toronto house. Now Shibley had the gift of gab and could carry on a continuous conversation for five minutes or an hour. He was a hummer, and after about fifteen minutes gabfest, the town official’s signature was on the contract.
“Delivery by December 5th,” was what the papers called for.
“Tempus fugit,” and it was not till the other day that the official, now in gilt and under the arm of the agent, was suddenly sprung upon the wife as she opened the door.
It was claimed, so it is said, that the delivery was too late, the picture might resemble our aged ancestors who sprung from their tails in the trees, and then there were other objections.
This aroused the ire of Shibley as the refusal to give Calver a nip, roused his fighting blood, in a story appearing below.
What Sibley said to the wife was picturesque and to the point. It cost him $5.75 at Wednesday’s court.
L. Calver demanded something stimulating on the fourth of January last. He was at the Dexter House bar. “Nothing doing,” said the wine clerk.
“Watchamatter?”
“I tell you there’s nothing doing; you’re too full now.”
This aroused Mr. Calver’s choler, and he explained that he was a man of skill with the mitts, that he preferred to fight rather than eat. He could lick his weight in wild cats.
“Now get,” said the barkeep, smiling, as he wiped a glass.
“Ahgwaan.”
Then Calver was taken gently by the seat of his pants, and the coat collar and placed under the twinkling stars on his posterior.
But Calver was of fighting mood.
“Lemeatim.’
These words mean that the gentleman wished to enter the hostelry and do battle.
Chief Jones came along and advised the scrapper to go home.
“Ahgwaan.”
This was his undoing, and for this, Mr. Calver, who, by the way, is a very decent chap,paid in Wednesday morning’s court $5.00 and costs for refusing to leave a licensed house when under the influence of liquor.
The fine was paid.
He did not get his scrapping booze at the Dexter House.
The warrant for arrest sworn out by Henry Farmer before Magistrate Burgar, says that Peter English took Mr. Farmer’s overcoat and a suit of underwear. But this is not all. The said Farmer swears that, to the best of his knowledge and belief, Mr. English also appropriated an Independent Order of Forrester pin. The alleged theft was committed on Tuesday, and on Wednesday afternoon Chief Jones was notified that he was arrested in St. Catharines. The chief had advised the authorities of St. Kitts to be on the lookout for the red man, for English is an Indian, and so is Farmer.
English was dismissed. It was because he was drunk that the clothes were taken. “You must keep sober in future,” was the warning parting of the magistrate.
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