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The TALES you probably never heard about

PESSIMISM

[Welland Tribune September 8, 1905]

I never bought a block of stock,
Supposing it was low,
That didn’t stay upon bedrock
Until I let it go.

If diamonds. Some day from the sky,
Came zipping down like hail,
I know that it would be when I
Was out without a pail

If I should run to catch a train
I’d find as sure as fate,
When I the station steps should gain.
That it-the train-was late.

If I could read my title clear
To mansions in the skies,
I’ll bet you that the taxes there
Would soon be on the rise.

–Chicago Record.

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